To open this week’s column, many of you may be wanting a more detailed explanation of why I decided to take a break from the Freeware Fenzy, and I thought I would give one.  It’s quite possible that you don’t care, and if that’s true, click here to skip it.

For those of you who care, I was recently hired full time (or very close to it) at our local aquatic center – http://www.rockriverrapids.com – as a lifeguard.  I went through over 20 hours of training and certification work, and was hired immediately after training, because they were running very short on lifeguards.  I was not expecting such a rapid hiring, nor was I expecting the amount of hours I was given.  When you add to the mix my mowing business, my computer business, and my work here at PCMech (Mailbags, Weekly Freeware Frenzy, and the Bi-Weekly Kudos &Calamities), I had quite a load of work every day.  Things started to conflict problematically, so something absolutely had to give.  Finally, last week, I had worked all day, every day, and had not done my writing for the week.  I start about Wednesday night at 12 (which is technically my deadline), and got done a few hours later.  Let’s just say we had an unhappy editor on the other end waiting for my article… and when I was done (at 4AM), I made the decision to take a break from it.  I knew my schedule was getting even busier, so I needed something to put to the side.  As much as I hated doing it, it had to be done.  The column will be in good hands until my return, I promise.  Just for those of you who don’t think my schedule can be that busy, let’s take Wednesday (the day of this writing).  I had band camp from 8am to 3pm, then went to work from 3:30pm to 8pm, then looked at a computer between 8pm and 9pm, and finally, I’m writing this column.

On to the meat of the column: all the recent hubbub about this thing called Hot Coffee.  For those of you who haven’t heard of it, “Hot Coffee” was a mini-game in the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, which was taken out of the actual game, but the code was, for some reason, left in the final product’s engine.  The mini-game consisted of two people having sex, and you got to control what the male player did.  Any ideas why this was removed from the final game, anyone?

Well, although they took it out of the standard game, apparently they left it in the code engine, and some brilliant hacker found it, as well as a way to unlock it.  Once this person found out how to unlock it, his exploit was passed throughout the internet, and people were modifying their engine to allow the mini-game.  This set off a flurry of problems, and eventually, the ESRB repealed its original “M” rating and replaced it with an “AO” (Adult Only) rating.  Hold up!  This is where the debate starts.

First off, I will admit that I have seen a video of this game.  I was mildly curious as to what all the fuss was about, and decided to see for myself.  I’d like to say that this game is officially the cheesiest thing I have ever seen in my life.  Pixels moving around like they are having sex!  Yes, just what I’ve always wanted to see!  I don’t think so… but we’ll get back to that in a minute.

The Innocent Child Approach
What if my poor child Bobbie buys this game, then, against the terms and conditions of the sale, hacks the content and modifies it so that he can see pixels having sex?  How on Earth can anyone allow this?
Let’s get a few things straight.  If “Hot Coffee” can only be accessed when hacked, how on Earth can anyone hold the developer responsible?  Yes, the code is there, but it is not, intended to be viewed at all.  If your child hacks a game into doing something s/he wants it to do, that’s their responsibility.  By modifying code content, your child could do anything they want.  What ever happened to personal accountability for actions?  People shouldn’t blame everyone else for a problem that their child caused.

My Take
As I’ve said, this game is the cheesiest thing ever.  Why it’s a big deal in the first place, I don’t understand.  Sure, the code is there, and could have very well been a PR ploy, but come on.  It would be like pulling Windows XP off the shelf after the Sasser virus got out, or any porn virus.  It simply doesn’t add up.  Once the code is modified, the responsibility transfers from the developer to the modifier.  If you can’t accept that, I’m not sure what to tell you.  Hot Coffee wasn’t intended to be played.  You can’t pull it off the shelves for that, in my opinion.

Got a thought?  Post it here