I personally find it funny when b.s. artists claim to be masters of viral video when in fact the "secrets" they use aren’t secrets whatsoever.

You’ve read article after article about what it takes to go viral. You want to know what really works?

I’ll tell you.

It’s actually very simple.

It truly doesn’t matter what the video is about, nor does it matter how long or short it is. And contrary to popular belief, you don’t need a hot chick in your video either.

You can make any video viral if you’re willing to put some effort into marketing by utilizing two techniques: Me, Too! and Spam Without Spamming.

"Me, Too!" in a nutshell: Purposely writing responses on forums, blogs and other TEXT-BASED outlets to let the world know your video exists. A "Me, Too!" response is just that and not a freshly started topic.

"Spam Without Spamming" in a nutshell: Using alternate identities with the sole purpose being to point people to your video - without being detected as a spammer.

There is a very thin line between marketing and spamming. You’re only a spammer if you’re caught doing it. Otherwise you’re just marketing. Your goal is to stay on the marketing side.

There are several ways to use Me, Too! and Spam Without Spamming. Here’s a few you can use:

Spam Without Spamming - YouTube: Create several identities of different ages and genders; use them to have comment conversations with yourself and post video responses to yourself.

YouTube is very lax about people with multiple identities so you can basically sign up as many as you wish. Grab free e-mail accounts aplenty and start signing up. Create people out of thin air and use them to generate your own buzz.

Me, Too! - Forums: Participate in conversations and wait for the right moment to shove in a link to your video.

Note: Don’t do this on the PC Mech forums because the moderators are very wise to this.

This one takes a small bit of effort, but signing up on high-traffic forums, and participating (keyword) in conversations will allow you to drop a video link or two and get away with it.

The easiest way is to use a video link as your forum signature with a title that is nothing but bait, such as "Girl faceplants on a skateboard". Even if the video has absolutely NOTHING to do with a girl faceplanting on a skateboard, it doesn’t matter. If people click thru, that’s all that counts.

Me, Too! - Blogs: Respond to blog posts that have videos already in them. 

Bloggers embed videos often in their posts. You can respond with a compliment and attempt to drop your own video link. The blog owner may or may not accept the comment, but if s/he does, all the better.

Bear in mind you don’t necessarily have to target high-traffic blogs - but you should go for ones that are active and routinely posted to.

. . .

There are more techniques but you get the general idea. You’re essentially creating internet identities out of thin air, using them to whore out your video and try every which way but loose to snowball your video into "viral" status.

The only thing the b.s. marketing teams do more than you is put forth a much larger effort. They develop strategies weeks or possibly months in advance before blitzing a "campaign" on the internet. It’s the planning and execution of those plans that make their videos become overnight success stories.

A lot of what’s said above may sound unethical and outright dishonest. If that’s what you’re thinking - you’re right.

But that’s what it takes to go viral; it’s not a game for honest people.

It’s either that or just wait for sheer dumb luck to come your way to skyrocket your video into super-popularity.