After using Windows Internet Explorer 9 Beta for a few days now, I do believe that IE8 is the last bad browser from Microsoft. IE9 is the one that finally gets its act together. Late to the party, to be sure, but it is genuine forward progress.
"Bad" defined in reference to a browser counts as three things: Slow, non-compliant, insecure.
IE8 is slow and non-compliant – but not insecure. IE9 gets rid of the slowness/non-compliance for the most part, so at this point Microsoft has covered all the bases.
When IE9 goes to official release, the days of bad browsers are over. All popular browsers at that point will be fast, secure and mostly compliant. The only people left with genuinely bad browsers will be those in office-places, and those that don’t upgrade to a better browser.
The people forced to use a bad browser in the office-place have a very good excuse why they can’t use something better – they’re not allowed. The PCs are locked down, nothing is allowed to be installed and they’re lucky if they can even run IE7, never mind 8. They have no choice.
For home users that can upgrade but don’t, I have no sympathy for these people whatsoever because all of them are bad users.
Here’s how to spot a bad user concerning their IE (if you’ve ever encountered someone’s computer that’s similar to this, feel free to post a comment or two describing the horror story):
- On launch of IE, it literally takes 45 seconds or more just to load.
- After launch of IE, the top toolbar area is an absolute train wreck of icons and text fields. There are at least two toolbars installed, one of which you recognize instantly as spyware, the other as a worthless "helper" bar from the security suite installed, and possibly a third from the ISP itself.
- The security suite installed has completely hijacked IE from stem to stern. On any attempt to load any website, the suite says HEY HOLD ON THERE LET ME CHECK IF THIS IS "SAFE", pauses the browser for a good 3 to 5 seconds before even starting to load, then finally starts. The load time is so slow you’d think you were on dialup.
- At least two "fun" or "convenience" things are installed in IE, such as a useless weather-checker and/or something resembling Bonzi Buddy (remember that one?)
- The user literally does not know how to use the address bar. Any web site that person goes to is from an internet search. In fact, they will literally type the web address in the search bar, click on the first search result and consider that the normal way to browse.
- The user doesn’t have a clue what bookmarks or favorites are, or how to use them.
- There is an email checker loaded in IE for an email account the user doesn’t even use.
- If the user is using IE 7 or 8, they have no idea how to use tabs and sincerely believe the browser can only load one website at a time.
- On inspection of IE’s Temporary Files folder, there’s a mountain of cookies in there the user has never deleted. On browse of those files you’ll see all the porn sites the user has been to, proving how much of a sick f*** they truly are.
- The user only knows IE as the blue e. Not Internet Explorer or even web browser. Just the blue e. That’s it.
That’s a bad user. They run their IE in such a way that it’s a miracle they can browse any web site at all. It’s also amazing they haven’t been kicked off their ISP from the sheer amount of spam their computer is sending out from all the spyware/malware botnets installed (a quick run of TCPView will show that to be true, guaranteed).
"Digital natural selection" will weed the bad users out.
It does not matter how many times a bad user is told "UPGRADE, YOU FOOL!", because they simply won’t do it. No way, no how. Windows Update tells them to upgrade. Their security suites, even if crappy, tell them to upgrade. Friends tell them to upgrade. These fools are told to upgrade in every conceivable way, yet they ignore it every time out of fear, ignorance or a combination of both.
The only upside of this is that all those bad users will inevitably come to a point where IE, and their Windows in general, will simply not function correctly anymore. At that point they’ll be forced to buy a new computer. That’s digital natural selection. Bad users always and without fail end up with an IE browser that is completely unusable due to their own stupidity. Fortunately the new computer will come with a current, updated IE.
You can’t blame IE as the root of browsing problems anymore.
In the past, you could easily blame IE6 for problems because it is bad. IE9 however is superior in every way. It’s stable, secure and fast – even in beta form.
You may think I’m defending the IE browser. I’m not. What I’m saying is that after the IE9 release, all browsers will be on a relatively level playing field. There will be no more "bad IE".
It is now up to the user to ensure a good browsing experience. The IE blame game simply doesn’t hold water anymore. Microsoft, Mozilla, Google, Apple and Opera have all done their best to make sure you can browse without worry – but they can’t stop you from putting junk on your computer that turns your browser into a sloth.
"I browse with an older browser and my computer works just fine."
It works fine at the moment. Your luck is going to run out sooner or later. Probably sooner. Upgrade, you fool.
"I don’t see a need to upgrade my browser."
You need a current version to avoid putting your computer at risk from known browser exploits no matter what browser you use. Upgrade, you fool.
"I don’t browse any websites that warrant the need to upgrade my browser."
All those porn sites you visit aren’t safe, genius. Upgrade, you fool.
"I don’t browse porn sites."
Suuuuuure you don’t. Upgrade, you fool.
"I like the interface of my older browser."
That’s a lame excuse for running dangerous. Upgrade, you fool.
It is your job to put forward at least a modicum of browser maintenance no matter what browser you use, and that means using new versions as they become available. If you don’t, then it’s your fault if you’re swept under the rug from digital natural selection.
Don’t be a bad user. Upgrade, you fool.
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