Thanks to improvements in technology, starships of all shapes and sizes are becoming obsolete faster than you can learn a Klingon war chant. The old ships are decommissioned and computer technicians around the world are grabbing these up so they can be beamed to a client’s site and fix their problems as quickly as the customer expects. I’ve had the opportunity to grab one of these ships myself, and as a result, it has reduced my repair time to a small fraction of what it used to be.
For example, one customer, who kept all his project data on his laptop, discovered that the laptop would not boot up one morning, and he needed his data that day. This, of course, was no problem because all I had to do is replicate a new laptop, tell the ship’s computer to copy the data from the old laptop–even though the hard drive was damaged–and have the new computer beamed back to his desk in about ten minutes. My client was able to go for a coffee and get back to work when he returned.
If you are considering this business structure, I recommend you increase your hourly rate.
In the real world, the best case scenario for this customer is a loaner computer could be put on his desk, the problem discovered and fixed quickly, and his laptop returned to him in the afternoon. More likely, it would take a couple of days while we do a backup, complete a full diagnosis and, if needed, wait for parts to arrive and be installed.
Customers often expect problems with their computers to be fixed quickly, and often with just a single phone call or a walk–in walk–out type of transaction. Their expectation to have their computer up and running quickly indicates that they are out of touch with the reality of computer maintenance and repair.
Why do people expect such quick turn–around? I think it has a lot to do with starships and the superior intelligence of 24th century space rangers. They are able to deal with viruses, alien attacks, and relationship issues all within the space of an hour. Engineers on various starships that inhabit the TV universe can reconfigure the subroutines of a problematic computer in a matter of seconds. They obviously have more complex systems to deal with, so why can’t our simple computers be repaired even more quickly?
Although the shows often attempt to convey the passage of a reasonable amount of time, in our living rooms only one hour has passed on the wall clock.
As a computer technician I often deal with clients who come in with a problem that they expect to be fixed by the end of their shopping spree, which, coincidentally, is an hour. I have to explain that there are other computers on the bench and that their computer may not be ready until the next day. Such a bold statement causes a bit of bewilderment for a second as they land in the real world, then they seem to realize that their expectations were unreasonable. Usually my clients see their error and, in a friendly manner, ask me to fix it as fast as I can.
Here’s an example. A customer who walked into the shop (sorry, but the shop I work in really isn’t on a decommissioned star ship) explained that their laptop was running slowly. Could I please fix it? Why yes, of course we could I state, and turn to make a work order.
He opens his laptop and explains that I don’t need to go to the bother of doing up the estimate, that he is sure it isn’t a big problem, and “if you just look at it you would see what the issue is right away.”
I counter–explain, politely, that “I see similar symptoms all the time, and it may be caused by anything from a faulty hard drive to adware.”
“Oh, OK,” my customer replies, “I’ll be back after the grocery store.”
The transaction ends with the customer understanding that the computer will be in the store for a day or longer if any replacement hardware needs to be ordered.
Afterwards, alone again, I drift off into my reverie of being in a decommissioned star ship with my replicating machine, some trusty nanoprobes, and possibly an android who actually could look at the computer and tell me what the problem was.
