It was bound to happen. My PC is barely a year old and it’s run like a top from day one. But over the last week or so, I’ve been getting this faint whining from the box. About eight years ago, I heard something similar from my old Micron and it turned out that the rear fan was going bad. No problem. I paid five bucks for another one at a local parts place and installed it in a few minutes. Except the new one wasn’t as quiet as the old one, and I had to put up with a noisy fan until the Micron died a few years later.

My new PC isn’t a Micron. It’s a Maxtor and a Western Digital and a Memorex and an Intel and a bunch of other things that I stuck in there. I opened it up while it was running, expecting to find a bad fan, but they all seemed to be working. Funny, I thought. The noise was still there, so it had to be something. I got down real close and it sounded like the whining was coming from the video card. Not possible, I thought. There’s no video card fan. But that’s where the sound was the loudest. Just for kicks, I pressed in on the video card and the whining changed pitch. I shined my flashlight underneath the card and saw a flat circular object. I wondered if it could be a miniature fan.

“Yep. That’s what it is all right,” said Hench. “Some manufacturers put a fan right on the video card to keep it cool because it gets so much use.”

“So what’s the story? Do I need a new card or can I just replace the fan?”

“No, you can replace it. But it’s really small, so peel the old one off carefully — use a razor blade if you have to — and clean the surface with some Goof Off before you put the new one on.”

“Goof Off? You mean the turpentine stuff? Isn’t there an easier way? What if I just let the fan go bad?”

“You never know. It might be ok, but then again, they put the fan on there for a reason. I’ve got a heat pipe on mine. Remember, your computer’s two big enemies are dust and heat.”

The next day, the whining went away. I thought the fan might have died, but I checked and it was running like normal. One of those things, I guess.

A silly little incident like that has limited audience appeal. In fact, PC Mechanic is one of the few places that would even consider publishing a column like mine. But that’s the niche that PC Mechanic has carved out for itself. Computer hobbyists the world over turn to this site every day not only to figure out how to buy, build, and repair their PCs, but also to read unadulterated opinions about Microsoft, Linux, Apple, and the lunacy that many of us deal with as foot soldiers in their armies — whether on or off their payrolls.

Unfortunately, Microsoft has a way of heaping big helping’s of work on their employees’ plates, and I’ve received more than my fair share of late. So much so that I’m spending more and more time at my Redmond office (Building 17), and less and less time on more pleasant tasks like writing to you each week. As the great Mel Torme once said, something’s gotta give.

So, for better or worse, this is my last edition of “Under the Influence.” Thanks go out to Mr. Risley for his most excellent publication, of which I will remain an avid member. Thanks go to you for taking time each week to wade through my glorified blog and provide a constant flow of encouragement and criticism. And thanks go to Sweetie for… well, she knows what for.

Some have already mentioned privately that they will miss my weekly tirade. Perhaps. But not nearly as much as I’ll miss writing it. After all, first and foremost, I’m a writer. And writers write.

So, despite my flowery words and grandiose explanation for putting to bed a weekly article like “Under the Influence,” you and I both know that some day soon my video card fan will once again start whining for attention. And when that happens, I’ll desperately need to talk to someone about it.

I hope you’ll be listening.