Like it or not, in this age of heightened personal awareness and oversensitive political correctness, social stereotypes are as prevalent as they ever were. For example, the stereotypical computer nerd is scientific, humorless, socially inept, and above all, young. This is not completely off-base considering the relative newness of the computer field and the way it has attracted two generations of video gamers. But walking the halls of Microsoft each day, I’m more and more struck by the number of grey beards I’m seeing. And pleasantly so, for I’m quickly becoming a member of that hallowed group.

I still remember the first time I saw a grey-haired guy on the WordPerfect campus when I worked there over a decade ago. He seemed so out of place as he strode out to the volleyball court wearing his perma-press pants and wingtips. “Must be a programming genius,” I thought. It turned out, he was. But today, that guy is everywhere, except now he’s more likely to sport a ponytail and Havana Jack shirt.

On paper, the average Microsoft worker is about 34 years old. Fairly young. But it used to be under 30. The figure has crept up by the year as employees hang on longer and longer, waiting for that inevitable day when they can cash out, move to the mountains, and build a house that has auto-slide triangular doors like on the Starship Enterprise. Not a joke. I met the builder who puts these places together. The doors actually go “Zhing!” like on the TV show. (Kids and their toys…)

Nick, a friend who works in the Recruiting Office explains that, as Microsoft has matured, so has its workforce.

“So when did this happen, Nick? Computers were once a young man’s game, right?”
“Sort of. But I think that applied more to the Internet than to PCs themselves.”
“Why, because of chat rooms and gaming and porn and all that?”
“Could be. When the Internet bubble burst, the whole industry sort of grew up.”
“That’s a fallacy, Nick. The bubble didn’t burst, it just deflated a little. The craziness of throwing dollars at anyone who could sketch an idea on the back of a napkin ended, and the whole world went through a reality check, but Internet technology is as important as ever.”
“That’s right. But a lot of those napkin-sketchers were really young and entrepreneurial. We concentrating on recruiting smart people who are passionate about their work, but can also work in a group.”
“So how’s that going?”
“Not bad. I wish the pool was larger.”
“Larger? Aren’t the hackers all teenagers looking for a good time? You tellin’ me they’re not passionate? Let’s channel some of that into Microsoft.”
“You don’t know much about hackers, do you? Most hackers aren’t out for blood, they just like the challenge of breaking and entering. A malicious hacker is someone on a mission. But you’re right about the profile. Teenagers are one of the few groups who have time to cruise the Internet for hours on end. Some of them are really talented.”
“So what about snapping up some of these teens?”
“We do. But mostly we prefer for the colleges to snap them up. Then we’ll snap them up from there.”
“That still doesn’t explain where all the grey beards come from.”
“That’s more of a social thing. Microsoftees used to retire young because that’s what they thought they wanted to do. After a couple of years, they’d come knocking on our door again because they were bored. I really think that’s the main reason for an older workforce.”

Nick may be on to something. In fact, in my new workgroup, four of the eight group members are over fifty years old, all of whom left the company at one time and have now returned. These are seasoned professionals with decades of experience who actually remember watching Leave It To Beaver live. One of them voted for Nixon. Twice.

As I listen to stories about their grandchildren and Medicare, I’ve come to realize that, at 41, I’m the young up-and-comer in the group. I’m the college grad who snowboards, reads alternative media, and doesn’t have back problems. It’s a role that I’m vaguely familiar with, having played it once upon a time to some critical acclaim.

Totally rad, dude.