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I know it wasn't very funny at the time sarge but it made me laugh !
I had a toilet freeze while I was gone one year then broke and leaked water into the floor and then that made another pipe freeze & break our neighbor heard water running and was smart enough to turn off my water it was too late..we had to replace 1/2 the floor and of course the toilet. After that my wife hardly ever asks me to be a plumber. (thank-god)
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