[M. A. Dockter]

I'm hoping most of you have seen the "How to Visit Wisconsin in This Summer" brochures that have been floating around. It's a list of 20+ things not to do or you will get your beat, sometimes killed. Although we love our state, culture, and traditions; we love our country even more.

Dear Non-Wisconsinites, We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance with: 1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem ... kick their ass. 2) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest remember that hundreds of thousands of men have died defending that person's right to burn the flag... kick their ass all the way out of the country. 3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a Disabled Veteran kicks their ass. 4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU's), telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make you look stupid, and get your ass kicked. 5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children below the age of 14 are totaly exempt; when they ask it, is beyond cute, and almost precious.). 6) If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard non-military, inform them of their mistake...and kick their ass. 7) Next time Old Glory (U.S. flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her...of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe beating.