"Why does the computer crash?"

[doctorgonzo]

After answering that question this morning after a random lockup, I was wondering what everybody's favorite answer is to that age-old question, "Why did my computer crash?" I'm not talking about crashes with a definite cause, just those crashes that come out of nowhere and mysteriously disappear after a reset.

This morning, I was going to start talking about cosmic rays and so on, but I thought the better of it.

[rjfvillarosa]

(Police Officer)
Is this your computer and had you been drinking prior to the accident Mr Gates?
(Mr Gates)
I'm sooorry ocifer can you repeat the question...........

[Panama Red]

"The program you tried to open kicked over the bit bucket. We have to restart in order to get all the bits back where they belong."

"Computers are like accountants, they operate on either the FIFO or LIFO systems of data management. Sometimes, like accountants, they get confused and try to use the incorrect system for the program you are trying to use. When that happens the last data in is the first out and the system crashes."

[HAL9000]

It was due to the over excessive influx of gamma radiation hitting the memory microchips reversing all the binary data from zero's to ones and ones to zeros.. this is caused by the recent moisture in the area causing the water table to rise and release radon gas in the neighbourhood.

By this time they're giving me a really blank stare... and I say... "It hiccupped"

On a side note... while my ramblings are just that.. ramblings.. there IS some truth to it and I have experienced it here in Regina (Saskatchewan being the radon gas capital of the world providing our residents with approximately twice the yearly maximum of radiation per person).... ANYWAY... we took this in a physics class that radon gas contains alpha radiation particles which when hitting a computer chip, CAN in fact flip a binary/hex/ whatever character out by one causing the computer to hiccup. Twice now I have had people complain about system crashes and finally asked after thorough testing in my shop with no crashes... is your computer in the basement.. yes it was. .. then asked they move it upstairs for a while to see if it works fine... oddly... yes it does.... then requested they have their basement checked for excessive levels of radon gas.... sure enuf... positive.

[nubbler]

"Windows 95: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
- Unknown

Hal9000, that's quite interesting.

[Cricket]

After answering that question this morning after a random lockup, I was wondering what everybody's favorite answer is to that age-old question, "Why did my computer crash?"Gremlins.

:) Cricket

[TwoRails]

"Why does the computer crash?" Because it doesn't know how to drive....
:)

[Force Flow]

Because it doesn't know how to drive....
:)

LOL!! Nice :D

I'm with Cricket on the gremlins...those little buggers can cause all sorts of trouble...especially if they get sprayed with water or have a bit to eat after midnight... :p

[Jaggannath]

hahahaha we have things called circuit gremlins (for when it works the night before, but not the next day), so why not software gremlins

I usually tell people that perhaps there was a small surge, or just a programming error

[DragonNOA1]

I just tell everyone that "That's Windows for ya, it'll do that." I think everyone just understands.

[Yuanji]

it crashes cuz it's sick of doing everything you want it to.

[flanzig1]

My standard answers: Corrupt data base or corrupt file/Someone download something bad/Cache was full(Bit bucket is full)/Bad kanooter valve/Power spike from the elevators/That brand of ....... is junk.