Wow... some people just amaize me...

[Force Flow]

I was just reading stories from http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

wow. Some people should not own computers. There was this onw lady who was on the phone with tech support who blew away her computer with a shot gun.

Some of these stories are so hilarious I've been bursting out laughing...literally!

If you ever need a good laugh, take the time to read some of these stories. They're great. It's even funnier to know that tese incidents actually occurred. :D

[morriswindgate]

The problem is that people think a computer is like a microwave oven, just plug it in and go. The other problem people have is fear, they have seen too many movies where the computer suddenly starts flashing Overload and displying a skull on the screen while it is pouring smoke out the monitor.
And finally there are 12 o'clock flashers or people where every appliance in there house is flashing 12 o'clock.

[Byte 2.0]

I do tech support for DSL connections, I generally take 20-30 phone calls in a 8 to 10 hours. Some of the stuff I hear is just unreal

[Force Flow]

Here's some hilarious revenge stories I was reading... :D


A support representative friend of mine came up to me one day and said that he thought he had done something wrong. He had been walking a novice Mac user through rebuilding her desktop. She tiresomely questioned every direction the technician made. After half an hour of patiently talking her through what should have been a one minute process, she finally stated, "Oh! Now it says, 'Are you sure you want to rebuild the desktop on the disk XXX?'"

Tech Support: "Ok--"
Customer: "Oh, now there's something like a spinning barber pole on the screen."
Tech Support: "You didn't press 'OK' did you?"
Customer: "Yes. You said 'OK'."
Tech Support: (acting alarmed) "I just said 'Ok,' I didn't mean for you to press 'OK'!"
Customer: (panicking) "What should I do now?"
Tech Support: "Run! Get out of there! Run! Run!"

The next thing he heard was the phone hitting the floor, the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps, and a door slam. After numerous calls over the course of an hour, the customer finally answered the phone. She had waited outside for an hour -- when the computer didn't explode, she went back inside and unplugged it.

I forwarded the Computer Stupidities anecdote listed above to a friend of mine in our in-house computer support department. He thought I was having a real problem. He asked what kind of XXX stuff I was getting on my computer.

----
Customer: "Hello, I have a problem. My name is Bob Murton."
Tech Support: "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that problem."

I did call him back and helped him fix his problem. He didn't complain about my response, but he did get members of the department asking for a while afterwards if he'd fixed his "other" problem.

----

While I was at college I had to develop and install a new mainframe payroll update system. I coded it up and finally the day came to introduce it to the business office. I couldn't resist. I told the staff there that the system had an advanced feature whereby it could read hand prints off the screen to authenticate the user. So after they keyed in their usernames and passwords, I had them put their hands on the screen and hit enter. I had the cursor flash across the screen, like it was scanning the hand print, and then a message would welcome them to the system. For about a week, all five staff members were putting their hands on the screen to log in. Then one day my boss happened to notice what they were doing and had me remove the "scanning" part.

----

I am a system administrator, but at times, when I'm feeling benevolent, I assist technically challenged users. I was speaking with one of the network analysts while enjoying a cup of latte, when a woman from the Health Services department frantically rushed over to us. We told her to call the help desk, which is what she is supposed to do first, and then her problem would probably be assigned to one of us. She couldn't wait, though -- you know that scenario. She needed to copy a document to a disk immediately, but her disk drive was "broken." She was flailing her arms with the diskette in her hand saying, "I keep trying to put the diskette in, but it won't go in. The disk drive is broken!"
The analyst and I looked at each other, then followed her to her computer. We stood next to her as she repeated her story. At the same time, she was unsuccessfully attempting to shove her diskette into the drive...with the disk upside down.
I told her that there wasn't anything wrong with her drive. I said her computer was upside down.

----


I just had a phone call from a high-level academic asking why his screen was so white, bright, and blurry, and if there was any way he could increase the amount of ink it used.
I directed him to his monitor's brightness and contrast controls.

Him: "Brightness and contrast controls? What do they do?"

As a friend of mine has just commented, "Funny. There's a brightness dial on the monitor, but the users don't get any smarter."

----

My boss received complaint about me from one of those users that hates all tech support personnel. He said, quote:

Customer: "I don't know what that idiot did, but my PC was LAN connected yesterday, and now it's not."

I had not touched this person's PC for several months. I went to her desk and discovered she had moved her desk to the other side of the cube. She had disconnected the Cat 5 LAN cable because it was too short to reach the new desk location.
She was not in the area, so I moved the desk back and hooked the PC to the LAN. I left a note saying it would "only work on this side of the cube."
Being an "idiot," I doubt that I could have found any of the longer LAN cables in the tub drawer at my desk.

----

One night there was a thunderstorm in the area, and one customer, notorious among the tech support crowd, called:

Customer: "Did you know about the thunderstorm? I heard that I should unplug my computer. Should I do that?"
Tech Support: "In most cases, yes, it is best to at least unplug your phone line. Lightning sometimes causes power surges that can damage your modem."
Customer: "Can it damage other things as well...like the phone?"
Tech Support: "I've never heard of that happening before, but it is a possibility."
Customer: "So do you think that I should unplug the phone from my computer and from all the phones as well?"
Tech Support: (frustrated) "Couldn't hurt."
Customer: "So when can I plug them all back in?"
Tech Support: (really annoyed now) "When the storm is over."
Customer: "How will I know when it's safe, though?"

My face lit up like a Christmas tree, and it was all I could do to keep myself breathing evenly.

Tech Support: "I will call you."
Customer: "Ok! Thank you!"

----

Customer: "I can't get loaded!"
Tech Support: "Try stronger drinks."

----

My senior year in high school, I spent about half my school day helping the computer teacher and helping to administer the school network. We had a program on the network that would allow you to pull up the screen of another computer and control it remotely. I was bored one day, and so I logged myself in as the administrator and proceeded to "check up" on the students in the computer room to see what they were working on. I found one girl I knew typing a steamy letter and decided to scare her a bit. I started by erasing a few of the characters in her letter. She paused for a minute, but then continued typing, so I did it again. This time, she paused for a longer period and then started backspacing her whole letter. I then wrote "hello" on her screen. After a while she finally responded, and we got a bit of a conversation going.
She asked who this was, and I told her I was stuck in her computer and couldn't get out. She fell for it and asked how she could help. I told her she needed to lick the computer screen. She said she did. I didn't believe her, but I continued: I said she needed to stand up and act like a chicken. A minute passed, and she said she did that, too. I didn't think she had, and this time I told her so, but she responded by saying that not only had she done what I asked but had gotten detention for it.
An hour later, I went into the computer room, and the teacher told me that he had had to give a student detention. I asked why, and he said that he was watching her and all of a sudden she licked her computer screen and stood up and acted like a chicken. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.

[Alienware_Dude]

Hahahaha, those are great! :D :D :D