new viruses

[res07tg2]

Don't get hit by one of these recently spotted infections:

BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then reattaches it.
(But that part will never work properly again.)

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 10GB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 1GB, and
then slowly expands back to 10GB.

AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are
getting.

MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much
for the AT&T virus.

PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns
you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by floppy.

POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers
to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how
old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see
a counsellor about possible alternatives.

ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just before
the whole thing quits.

MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. it'll be back.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process
without joining into a binary network.

DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe jsut
cant figyour out watt!

GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software
says everything is fine.

NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
really mad just thinking about it.

FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little
units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to
be the most important part of your computer.

GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of
their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin
of error.)

TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with
a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.

AIRLINE VIRUS: you're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
motherboard.

PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs;
only to resurface at shopping malls, service stations and fast food joints
across rural America.

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

SEARS VIRUS: Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables, power supply
and a set of shocks.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up, then
subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.

STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.

GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new
files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space on your
hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.

CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS: Makes your Pentium machine perform like a 286/AT.

LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
and erases them in "self defense".

CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in
the reviews, but you still love it.

ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS: Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars,
it's programmer will take it back.

[jotto84]

good one, did yuo make all of these up yourself?

[res07tg2]

no i stole it from a site that admitted stealing it from another site where some person with to much time must have writen it

[res07tg2]

my computer needs this one =)