Fellers Better Pay Attention

[SARGE]

My advice to the fellers is pay attention to your finances if you're hitched up. For myself, that never came to pass in my 30 years of marriage. I always trusted the other to handle such things as I was busy working while she stayed at home and cared for the household stuff. Being divorced for a year, I used one of those "free credit report" offers and was stunned. Seems I'm in debt for thousands, and I do mean many thousands of dollars to accounts I never knew about. According to lawyers I'm responsible in Texas for accounts opened in my name by a spouse. She can open an account in my name without me knowing about it. Being now divorced and I protest(way too late) they say, "you should have been paying attention". Well, seems I'm legally liable for the balances incurred whilst married even though I didn't open the accounts nor knew about them. Since the accounts haven't been paid on my own credit stinks but am taking steps to remedy that; my own name once meant something. At this point, being divorced and retired and on a fixed income, that name needs to be resurrected but it will be a tough go.

Pay attention and ask questions, and never trust anyone.

[Force Flow]

Can't trust too many people these days...

[rjfvillarosa]

I sympathise with you Sarge. I didn't have any accounts opened that I did not know about, BUT, my now exwife of 15 years walked into the bank, cleared out the joint account to the tune of about £1500, ran up an overdraft for £3000 on the same account and promptly asked the bank to remove her name from the account which the bank obligingly did so, leaving me £4500 backwards (about $9000). A few weeks later in the divorce court she was awarded MY HOUSE about half a million dollars worth and one of MY CARS ( a jaguar two years old). Fifteen years later I am still mystified as to what went on, three solicitors and various legal admissions have been unable to overturn any of the Judges original verdicts. I gave up the leagl protests about ten years ago and I am not in the slightest bit bitter about it all..............................YEAH RITE

[Yuanji]

Originally Posted by rjfvillarosa I sympathise with you Sarge. I didn't have any accounts opened that I did not know about, BUT, my now exwife of 15 years walked into the bank, cleared out the joint account to the tune of about £1500, ran up an overdraft for £3000 on the same account and promptly asked the bank to remove her name from the account which the bank obligingly did so, leaving me £4500 backwards (about $9000). A few weeks later in the divorce court she was awarded MY HOUSE about half a million dollars worth and one of MY CARS ( a jaguar two years old). Fifteen years later I am still mystified as to what went on, three solicitors and various legal admissions have been unable to overturn any of the Judges original verdicts. I gave up the leagl protests about ten years ago and I am not in the slightest bit bitter about it all..............................YEAH RITE

heh ouch.... kinda makes me not wanna get hitched when i grow up

[rjfvillarosa]

Originally Posted by Yuanji heh ouch.... kinda makes me not wanna get hitched when i grow up

Don't go down that path Yuanji, everyones experiences are different I have now been married for about seven years and couldn't be happier.

[HAL9000]

Guess I got off lucky... the end of this month marks the 11th anniversary of my divorce... all I was left with was half the debt to the tune of a mere $900 including legal fees as I filed all the papers myself with a divorce kit. But what is following me around is that I found out that to this day, she bad mouths me left and right... apparently she left me cuz I beat her all the time... apparently so bad that she was once hospitalized for three months.... funny... medical records to back that up, not to mention if somebody was beaten that hard, there would be a police investigation as well, which there is none.

[spyder003]

It's tough having bad credit, and it takes a long time to rebuild.

[juppy]

Sorry to hear this, Sarge. The legal system seems like it's not worth a hill of beans sometimes. Hope you get it resolved somehow.

[Yuanji]

Originally Posted by rjfvillarosa Don't go down that path Yuanji, everyones experiences are different I have now been married for about seven years and couldn't be happier.

i was just joking anyways, sorry to hear about that sarge. just have to accept things are gnna happen not the way you want them to and get over it. i'm sure you're going to find a way to pull through tho

[Jaggannath]

I think it's important to just see Sarge's message as a bigger picture he was trying to present... be aware of what people are using you for. Your name is your own, don't give anyone the opportunity to use it without your knowledge. I have a mate who changed his surname to his mothers maiden name because his father used his name to create bank accounts (he wasn't allowed to as he'd just got out of jail for fraud).

Your perspectives gave me food for thought, so thanks all

[Tin]

Originally Posted by Force Flow Can't trust too many people these days...

isnt that the sad truth . seems most people these days are out for only one thing....themselves.

[docrichards]

Sarge;
You might try writing a letter to the companies explaining exactly what happened and request that you not be held liable for the bills. If you are currently upto date on your obligations, and can prove that you had no clue that the items existed, like never having signed a credit reciept sometimes the companies will write off the bills to avoid bad press, like you are giving them now. This happened to a friend of mine, it took him a long time to get results but it was worth the wait. Also get a damn good lawyer. HTH
Docrichards

[Dodge7]

Hey Sarge, Sorry to hear the story. I was wondering if you were still around. [You were one of the first people to help me when I came to this forum a few years ago seeking help with a modem issue.]

Don't be too quick to give in, regardless what the lawyers say. As was suggested. It never hurts to write the creditors directly. The can be amazingly reasonable if you intend to try to pay them. Also talk to your bank, etc, they may be able to help.

And thanks again for your help in the past.

Roger

[SARGE]

Thanks for the input. The part that rankles me is a spouse can open up accounts and even sign your name to an application without you knowing it. Ideally most couples communicate about finances but some don't. I spent all my cotton pickin' time working extra to support a stay-at-home mom with 4 kids. Didn't want to fool with the bills so trusted her. Fast forward and seems I was screwed, glued and tattooed, all very legal-like. As the shirts say, "You should have been paying attention".

[edfair]

Had kinda the same battle in Georgia, but not nearly that bad. Bank broke the accounts apart and it got sorted. But it ended up as a 50/50 split. Just hard to come up with cash to buy half the fixed assets.

[damontgo]

sorry to hear sarge, my father went through a similar situation about 8 years ago when my mom divorced him. she got everything but his car and 1/2 is own bank savings b/c he tried so hard to get custody of me and my little sister. He went trhough some tough times for a few years.. but now he's remaried and happier and healthier than ever. I suppose you could try to look at it as a chance to try new things, experience new things...
sell the house, by a yacht and go travel or something. whatever "floats your boat" but just remember in the end we all come out ok

[Rapier]

Unless they throw the first punch, so to speak, or if there lots of wealth lawyers don't want to duke it out and judges side with the first one out of the gate. Taking is easier than getting back.

Good luck and thanks for the heads up.

Mike