Just a couple of funnies

[rjfvillarosa]

>Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
>Female customer: A white one...
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
>Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
>Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
>Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ..."
>Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still
>on my desk... sorry ...
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
>Customer: Your left or my left?
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
>Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
>Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
>Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
>Gates damn it!
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
>says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it
>in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find
>it...
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Customer: I have problems printing in red...
>Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?
>Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
>Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
>--------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
>Customer: It's not working.
>Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
>Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's
>happening...
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
>Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
>Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
>Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
>Customer: OK
>Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
>Customer: Yes
>Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
>keyboard?
>Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital
>letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
>Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
>----------------------------------------------------------
>A customer couldn't get on the internet.
>Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
>Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
>Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
>Customer: Five stars.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
>Customer: Netscape.
>Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
>Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on
>my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
>Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
>please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
>Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
>Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than
>4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
>----------------------------------------------------------
>Helpdesk: How may I help you?
>Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
>Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?>
>Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get
>the circle around it?

[DragonNOA1]

Brought a smile to my face, thanks

[trebor]

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it
>says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it
>in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find
>it...

Don't you hate when those darn computer can't "see" the printer, lol.

Very funny thank you.

[WhatsThisBoxFor?]

I found lots more like this on computer stupidities: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

I like the one about the kid that got his tounge stuck in a cd-rom drive.

[Punked Out Comp]

There is nothing worse than the customer who will only believe his or her own self-diagnosis. A woman and her daughter were ing around by the Macintosh display in our store. She told me a story that I never really grasped, but the general problem was that her daughter saved a report to a floppy using the Mac they had at home. Later, when they tried to read the file, they couldn't find it. They had put one disk in after another, but every directory looked just like the first disk. She KNEW what the problem was and would be ed if I would tell her different. SHE knew that the disks were all kept in a stack on the desk, and that the disks all had the same data as the first one because the topmost disk "leaked" onto the others. I told her the correct way to look for the lost file on a Mac, but she wasn't willing to accept my answer. She wandered off, and I went to help another customer. Fifteen minutes later, I noticed that she had a second salesman cornered and was making "leaking" gestures as she presumably told him the same story. He talked for a while and strated how to read disk directories. She gave him the same blank stare that she gave me and wandered off again. Not good enough! Fifteen minutes later she had a THIRD salesman cornered and started going through her while story again. The salesman looked like he was ready to pop, so I stepped back in.

Knowing she'd never leave until we told her what she wanted to hear, I told her that after some further thought, I realized she was right. There was nothing that could be done to save her daughter's file, but in the future she should always keep each floppy in a ZipLoc bag to be sure they don't leak on each other in the future. She was instantly happy and went on her way. I'll make a bet she still keeps her disks in sealed plastic bags.