A Little Story About Fred....

[MEL]

Well, this is the general forum... I suppose I could post the story I wrote here. It is tech related, and although the story is comical, the link on the bottom needs serious attention...Spread the word, unless of course you want the government in your computer...

Here is a little story about a guy named Fred. Fred is just an ordinary guy, with an ordinary life. He pays his taxes, eats burgers, and once in a while gets lucky with his girl. But thanks to the SSSCA, all of that is about to change.

One morning, in the not to distant future, Fred awoke, as the sunbeams in the window above his bed finally slapped him in the face. “What a great day! And its my day off too!” said Fred, as he jumped out of bed, turned the coffee pot on, and began to fix something to eat.

*Ding Dong* The doorbell rang, Fred quickly ran to the door, it was the U.P.S. guy. “Package for Fred, from Darla” yelled the U.P.S. guy. You see, Darla and Fred are sweet hearts, and have been together since high school. Aww.. How sweet huh?

“She remembered my birthday!” Exclaimed Fred, as he ripped the package open, and found a birthday card. It read, “Dear sweet Fred, sorry I couldn’t give this gift to you myself, but daddy is sick, and I couldn’t bear to leave him in the hospital alone, happy birthday sweetheart, hope to see you tonight”

Fred pulled the big box out if the package, his eyes popped wide open, and his mouth dropped to the floor. “My god! It’s the Pentium 5 billion I always wanted!” So Fred, ever so anxious to see how the new computer ran, began setting the system up. He decided to watch the news on T.V. while he was doing so…

‘NEWS FLASH’
The Security Systems Standards and Certification Act, becomes law…. All new Pentium 5 Billions are the first to have Police Ware preinstalled… News At 11

Finally, Fred’s new system is up and running. He immediately connected to the Internet, to let all of his buddy’s know about the new gift from Darla.

“Hey Fred, killer system” said Chuck. “By the way, since you’re here, on the net, I have something funny for you to hear. “Sure” said Fred, “what is it?” “A little something the Culture Club made” Said Chuck. “Culture Club?” Fred said confused. “Ok, go ahead and send it to me, I am curious to see what you’re talking about” Fred said, anxiously. You see, Fred missed the 80’s and wanted all the Culture he could find.

Finally, he received his gift from Chuck. “Thanks Chuck” Fred said with sincerity. Fred looked at the file:
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me.MP3
“Well, lets find out what this sounds like” Fred said with curiosity. So Fred loaded the file, and the sounds of Boy George echoed through the room:

* Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry*

Fred started to laugh, “Chucks right, this is funny” Fred said smiling, “I will definitely have to delete this when I am done listening”.

All of the sudden, the door smashes into splinters, as 10 members of a S.W.A.T. team batter ram the door. Rifles and guns drawn, they yell at the top of their lungs, “Down on the ground NOW! Down, down, down” Fred, frightened, and shocked, soils his drawers, and hits the floor. As the local S.W.A.T. team holds Fred at bay, an F.B.I. agent steps into the room. “Son, did you know you have an illegal, copyrighted .MP3 on your hard drive?!?” Said the agent. Fred, too shocked to say anything, stares at the agent with fear. “Your kind sickens me! How dare you share music without authorization, from the U.S. Government!” “ Boys, handcuff this man, and book ‘em” The agent said, as he walked out the door. Just then, the room became silent, and the members of the S.W.A.T. team heard the sound of the .MP3 emitting from the computer speakers:

* Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry*

Members of the S.W.A.T. team then commenced to put their rifles aside, and drew their batons. “Why yes boy, we do really want to hurt you” One of the S.W.A.T. team members said, with an evil glare in his eye. They then commenced beating poor Fred up. Why? Well it turns out the whole S.W.A.T. team was homophobic, and didn’t like the fact that Fred was listening to Boy George.

So there he was, poor Fred. Booked, beaten, and facing up to 5 years in the slammer. Fred gazed across his jail cell, and meets the eyes of a 300-pound bald white guy with a swastika tattooed to his forehead. “Hi” said Fred cautiously. “They call me Hell Razor!” Said the bald guy, gazing evilly at Fred. “Hi Hell Razor, nice to meet you” Fred said, trying to avoid conflict. Hell Razor, then gave Fred a crazed look, and said, “I killed 20 men in a bar last night for looking at me funny” “So what you in here for?” Fred looked down, and mumbled, “Listening to a Boy George song my friend shared with me”. Hell Razors crazed and evil look, then turned into a big grin, as slobber flowed from his lips in anticipation.

5 years later…… Fred now wears leather, and rides on the back of a Harley with Hell Razor. And all of this could have been avoided, if we would have just said no to the Security Systems Standards and Certification Act.

Just Say No:

http://www.stoppoliceware.org

~MEL~

[audiyoda]

***???!!!?!?!!!???

And it's nothin but a stinkin' ad.

Story sucks, bill will never pass -- thanks for wastin' 90 seconds of my life.

-Craig

[mairving]

To make a long story short ... too late.

It is much more effective to either have a shorter story or just come out and say what you mean.

[lovitz]

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

[archie]

I thought we were going to finally find out where Fred is.
The story is well written but Mel is exaggerating about the consequences of viewing such files or just paranoid. Some steps may very well have to be taken to stop copyright infrigements but that bill is not the way it will happen. Fred is having a bad dream, he'll wake up soon.

[Gintaras]

I see attitude in replies:

IT never happens HERE, IT never HAPPENS to ME.

Everything is(will)happening to someone else, somewhere else.

Ask about those who were in WTC at 9/11, ask about those, who were at Columbine, ask....

They'll tell you.

[dead_eye]

Bad story, sounds like you wrote it. The bill the industry is proposing will never pass as it clearly violates the Constitution. Oh yeah, AMD will never have policeware . There will always be an alternative.