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11-13-2001, 09:27 PM
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#1 |
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Retired
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Modesto,Calif
Posts: 4,048
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Great Invention
I love God's invention!!!!!
Henry Ford died and went to heaven. Once inside the Pearly Gates, he asked for an audience with God. God asked Henry if there were any problems. Henry said "What were You thinking when you invented women?" God asked Henry to clarify. Henry said that there were many design flaws in God's invention and started to list them. 1. The headlights are too small. 2. It chatters way too much at high speed. 3. Maintenance is extremely high. 4. It needs daily painting and refinishing. 5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 days out of every 28. 6. The rear end wobbles too much. 7. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust. 8. Fuel consumption is outrageous. "And thats just a few", Henry said. God turns to Henry and says,"according to my statistics, more men are riding my invention then yours.  Carl |
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11-13-2001, 09:49 PM
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#2 |
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Red-eyed Moderator
Staff
Premium Member
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 17,576
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I like it, reminds me of this one.
The Pope dies and of course is met at the pearly gates. Here he is told for his work on Earth, he has obtained some of the highest stature in Heavan. He is free to wander the heavans as he pleases and to meet his creator without prior appoinment. Satisfied with this, he asks if there is any kind of library where records are kept of conversations with God. He is told "of course" and shown the way. The Pope spends several days reading through the records when suddenly there is a horrible scream emitting from the library "THERE'S A "R", THERE'S A "R"!!!!!!!" he screams. Everyone comes running and sees that he is pointing to the word "Celebrate"
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-At Ford, quality is job #1, job #2 is making them explode. ~Norm MacDonald, SNL News -Switching to Glide..Balancing in my head..inside of me... taking the glide path instead. |
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11-14-2001, 06:47 AM
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#3 |
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Staff
Premium Member
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Arlington, TN
Posts: 5,538
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Okay, I had to pull these two out. One is for Xayd.
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11-22-2001, 09:35 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 977
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One for the road
What do you call a dead blonde under your front porch?
LAST year's "Hide and Go Seek" winner!! |
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11-22-2001, 10:37 PM
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#5 |
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The Preacher Man
Premium Member
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Dallas
Posts: 4,828
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"Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out." |
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11-23-2001, 05:48 PM
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#6 |
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Power in the Box-P4 XEON!
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Europe >Swiss
Posts: 3,014
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A though one..
What's the difference between two guys where one guy stickes the Pointing Finger into the eye of the other guy ?
There aint no difference - both of them have a FINGER IN THE EYE - only the one with the finger is on the better end...
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