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08-07-2009, 04:38 PM
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#1 |
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Ride 'em Cowboy
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 9,018
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Funnies
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psychopath How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! What Do Eskimo's Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quatro Cinco. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. What Lies At T he Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because they Have Big Fingers Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer |
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08-07-2009, 04:39 PM
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#2 |
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Ride 'em Cowboy
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 9,018
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More
EVER WONDER Why??
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why the man Who invests all your money is called a broker? Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why they don't make the Whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ? Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? |
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08-07-2009, 05:10 PM
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#3 |
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Barefoot on the Moon!
Staff
Premium Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 13,285
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heh, a few good ones I haven't seen before
Thanks for the chuckle, EzyStvy 
__________________
There are two secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day, and you have to have a dream.
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08-07-2009, 05:47 PM
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#4 |
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I like me
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Tejas
Posts: 7,332
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Those were good.
__________________
It's coming....just you wait. |
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08-07-2009, 09:32 PM
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#5 |
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Member (8 bit)
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 159
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How come when a door is open, it's ajar but when a jar is open its not a door? Haha, polaroids..... Loved the Harley one too.
__________________
ASUS M4A785TD-V EVO / AMD X3 Rana 440 / 2 Gb Crucial DDR3 1600 / HIS 4850 1GB / WD Black 640Gb |
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08-07-2009, 10:34 PM
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#6 |
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Red-eyed Moderator
Staff
Premium Member
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 17,525
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If quizzes are known as quizzicals, are tests to be known as testicals?
__________________
-At Ford, quality is job #1, job #2 is making them explode. ~Norm MacDonald, SNL News -Switching to Glide..Balancing in my head..inside of me... taking the glide path instead. |
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08-08-2009, 02:01 AM
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#7 | |
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Professional Cow Tipper
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Enid, OK, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,855
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Quote:
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Excellent guess, Kreskin! Wrong...but excellent. *quote from Space Quest 6* |
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08-08-2009, 01:19 PM
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#8 | |
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 495
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Quote:
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08-08-2009, 01:57 PM
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#9 | ||
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Avanzato Tecnico
Premium Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,380
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Quote:
Why do people park in driveways? Quote:
__________________
Want to help cure Cancer and other Diseases? You easily can, all you need is your Computer, Find out how!
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08-10-2009, 12:49 PM
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#10 |
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Member (8 bit)
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Overland Park, KS
Posts: 168
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What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow?
BrownchickenBrowncow. Think 70's porn music. |
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