assisted living for an elderly person

[eshort]

Has anyone experience with/advise for someone seeking assisted living aprtments --Im looking in the Boston, Mass metro region and would appreciate feedback from anyone who has dealt with this issue--im attempting to find housing for an elderly parent.

Maybe websites etc can be suggested to begin a search process?

thanx.

[beckx020]

I can't help with much. But here is a mess of things that have hit
me on this issue with my parent.

1. Make sure the place is close enough that you CAN visit as much as
needed. As time goes on, it might have to be many times a day/week.
2. Make sure that you understand what they will charge you for. Thinking
that your parent won't need this or that doesn't actually make it true.
Realize that any "extra" personal care you much pay for will be VERY
expensive. Just to check that your parent took any medication can
run $600+ a month. And that's only for an aide to run in and out. If
you think there is a problem, there is probably a much bigger set of
problems that you don't know or understand yet.
3. If your parent is like mine, they might be resentful of or want
more of the personal care(s). Either way it doesn't seem to work.
4. Make sure you understand how your parent really will react if they
they start to loose more of their abilities. If they don't know or
remember. Sometimes it's hard to know who to believe when there is
a problem.
5. If your parent doesn't like to be "ordered" around by strangers,
or just needs lots and lots of slow patience, don't do assisted living.
Aides come and go, so there might be a stretch of new aides each week.
6. Just because a place is pretty or whatever, that doesn't mean anything.
Ask questions on what they will do to help you and your parent if xxxxxx
happens. What if they won't take meds? What if they won't bathe? What
if they don't get along with someone. What if they don't like a particular
aide? What if????
7. If your parent needs something they deem to only be done by an LPN or
RN, find out if the LPN and/or RN are THERE at the times required. Just
because they have them on staff doesn't mean it does any good. This one
just bit me. Doctor says this will be done at xxxx time each day. They
say has to be done by RN. RN isn't there at xxxx time.
8. Find out what "outside" services are there or visit, such as hair cuts,
foot care, banking etc. Sometimes just saving one trip a week can make
a big difference in the amount of quality time you can spend with your
parent. (I don't consider doctor appointments etc quality time.)
9. Find out if you can bring in someone you pay to do some things. Some
places will and some won't.
10. Make SURE they will like the food provided. If they are into spicy
and they only get blah food, they don't eat. Opposite also.
11. Find out if your state or county or city has elderly advocates to
help advise you on this. They might have just the right combination of
options that works for you.

There are pros and cons to everything! Also check out the help you can
get to keep your parent living at home or a regular apartment with PCA
help, adult day care, or some assistance there instead.

[PMich]

Can you define assisted living?

If it is with minimal assistance I always ask myself "Would I want to live here?" My wife wanted to move into the one down the street until I told her she wouldn't be old enough for about 40 years!

Understand that there are many levels of assistance available and choose the appropriate one. Most facilities can provide a range of assistance but do not cover the entire range. There are, however, some facilities that connect "assisted living" apartments with nursing homes. These are nice if you have both parents in different condition that need to be close to one another.

I would guess that two of the best sources for information would be the local clergy and/or service organizations. These people spend a fair amount of time in those places and will probably be able to give you an honest opinion about possible residence homes.

[freptide]