4 Words You Hate To Hear

[SARGE]

Have a nice week-end, fellers:

--------------------

1) I have a headache
2) Is the game over?
3) Where have you been?
4) My mother is coming
5) Promise you won't drink
6) Why aren't you listening?
7) Have I gained weight?
8) You think she's cute?
9) We need to talk

[Kubie]

And what "they" don't want to hear:

1. Take an aspirin

2. Score tied

3. Out!!

4. I'll be back when she's gone.

5. Yeah, RIGHT!!!

6. I'm listening, I just don't hear you.

7. About 40 lbs.

8. Actually, she's beautiful.

9. Not now. The score is still tied.


Sarge,
You have a great weekend yourself!!

Carl

[audiyoda]

OUCH!!!!

Wings aren't tied, we're going to the mother-in-laws this weekend and it's my wife's birthday tomarrow so I:

1-- have to listen
2-- can't go out (thereby drink)
3-- would be instantly killed if I look at another women
4-- would be strung up by my testicles if I answered #7 with anything but "Excuse me?? Are you kidding -- you look great!!!"

-- basically life as I know it ends tonight. Until Monday that is.....

-Craig

[Mr N8]

10) Is that your music

NAte

[DFastLane]

At work it's:

"my hard drive crashed"

"i opened a virus"

[SARGE]

A toss-up for a #10:

"Don't plan anything Saturday"

or

"Can we go shopping?"

DL's favorite 4 word line - " I am NOT mad!"

[Blakhart]

The test was positive....

[wolfie]

time of the month!!!!

[edrod13]

Blakhart,

thats a good one, but it would be more serious coming from someone other than your wife!

[homie27]

While on the phone in front of your buddies...""say you Love Me"

[Jenni]

I wish I would hear:

1--The kids are asleep.

2--I'll do the dishes.

3--Here's some spending money.

4--Let's go to bed. (wink, wink)

and right now, what I want to hear most of all:

5--My car is fixed!

[Nuclear Krusader]

While on the phone in front of your buddies...""say you Love Me"

Louder! Can't hear you!

[M. A. Dockter]

Just a quick prevenitive reminder to keep this clean for the younger folks, priests, old ladies, and such.

[cobra]

Something my wife hates to hear:

I have to fart

(at least it made me laugh)

[heidthebaw]

In company:
"My arse is itchy".

[Hot Rod]

I have a situation.......

[poops]

"that wasn't there yesterday" and "go see the doctor"

haha

[whr2206]

Originally posted by poops "that wasn't there yesterday""

sounds like my mom..... Then after shes done griping to me about what i SHOULD be doing.... i say

"Go take some Midol!"

then I leave.....fast

[Jenni]

whr2206, I could have said something like that to my mom, ONCE...then I would have been DEAD and had nothing else to worry about ever again.

Sarge, you know that women only say those things because:

1--You guys must not be doing something right. Personally, I NEVER have a headache. I have too much fun.
2--We like knowing that you care as much about us as you do some dumb game. Personally, I like the games and usually watch too.
3--Guys are insensitive jerks. If you say you're gonna be home at 7, and find out you are gonna be late, is it REALLY all that hard to pick up the phone and let us know?
4--We love Mom. You should too. But if you don't, don't show your rear end about it.
5--If you guys had to put up with the drunk versions of yourselves, you would insist too.
6--Pretending to listen while trying to look past us at the game doesn't count. We have important things to say now and then.
7--We only care because you guys drool all over those 100 pound models.
8--I don't mind the occasional glance at another woman. I mean, it is a natural reaction to look. But I draw the line at staring, pointing, or drooling.
9--We say this because we have already tried to get your attention (see #6) and you weren't paying attention then.

[whr2206]

well, around my dad, I wont say a word... sometimes when that stuff slips around him, I get out of the house.....very fast..

[doctorgonzo]

Based on these phrases, I am starting to wonder about what kind of women you guys are married to! My wife never says any of those things. The only thing she does is look for ways to get rid of my belongings that are too "ugly." Step away from the lamp!

[Penguin]

My wife once asked me if I thought she was fat.

My response: Dear, no matter what, I will always love the skinny girl hidden inside of you.

Thank god my wife has a sense of humor. She actually thought it was pretty funny.

[HAL9000]

Originally posted by Jenni 1--You guys must not be doing something right. Personally, I NEVER have a headache. I have too much fun.

Can't say that I have ever been given that excuse

Originally posted by Jenni 2--We like knowing that you care as much about us as you do some dumb game. Personally, I like the games and usually watch too.

OK, I'm not into sports, but I do have my occasional show that I like to watch on TLC. Why is it that women need to know we care ONLY when watching our favorite show/sport?

Originally posted by Jenni 3--Guys are insensitive jerks. If you say you're gonna be home at 7, and find out you are gonna be late, is it REALLY all that hard to pick up the phone and let us know?

Yes, we are insensitve jerks, it's one of the few things we have. I usually do call, but my wife knows all too well that if I'm out on computer stuff and say I'll be back by 7, go ahead with supper without me as it never seems to work out by 7.

Originally posted by Jenni 4--We love Mom. You should too. But if you don't, don't show your rear end about it.

I don't show my rear, but my tounge is getting pretty scarred.

Originally posted by Jenni 5--If you guys had to put up with the drunk versions of yourselves, you would insist too.

I gave up regular drinking when I started working in a bar. I can count how many drinks I have in a year on one hand, and no, they're not all on the same night either

Originally posted by Jenni 6--Pretending to listen while trying to look past us at the game doesn't count. We have important things to say now and then.

Just like picking up the phone, it could wait till a commercial couldn't it?

Originally posted by Jenni 7--We only care because you guys drool all over those 100 pound models.

Face it, this is a no win situation for guys. If a guy says yes, you're gaining weight, then it's the tear session that he doesn't think she's attractive anymore. If a guy says no, then he is either accused of a lie or told "you're just saying that".

Originally posted by Jenni 8--I don't mind the occasional glance at another woman. I mean, it is a natural reaction to look. But I draw the line at staring, pointing, or drooling.

I guess this is a relationship by relationship situation. My wife doesn't mind me drooling over pretty women. She tells me she's secure enough that I'm coming home and when we go out somewhere, points them out to me

Originally posted by Jenni 9--We say this because we have already tried to get your attention (see #6) and you weren't paying attention then.

Cuz you still haven't waited for the commercial

[jessho]

This is a warning. If your wife asks you to help her with her diet, you are doomed. There is not any correct answer or action. Your best bet is to pack your clothes, forward your mail to a post office box in another state and leave during the night.

[Nuclear Krusader]

OK, I'm not into sports, but I do have my occasional show that I like to watch on TLC. Why is it that women need to know we care ONLY when watching our favorite show/sport?

I think a woman does that because she always wants to be her man's number one concern. It's like saying: "if you really love me, then I must be the only one thing you must care about. Everything else can wait."

[Kassia]

Originally posted by SARGE 1) I have a headache 2) Is the game over? 3) Where have you been? 4) My mother is coming 5) Promise you won't drink 6) Why aren't you listening? 7) Have I gained weight? 8) You think she's cute? 9) We need to talk

1) I don't get headaches.
2) Move over, I wanna see this game too.
3) How was your day?
4) Don't worry, I'll make up a real good excuse for ya.
5) If you drink too much, call me, I'll pick you up.
6) The right outfit works everytime.
7) Have I gained any more muscle?
8) I never concern myself with that.
9) See #6.

[alan]

1) So?
2) Does not even deserve a response when it's obvious the game is still on the TV
3) Out
4) So?
5) I promise (fingers crossed of course)
6) I'm sorry/ Did you say something? I wasn't listening
7) Stop bugging me. Nothing I can say will make the weight go away.
8) Yes
9) So?

[lil Jimmie]

1) I have a headache You’ll get over it!

2) Is the game over? Yeah, but the race is fixing to start.

3) Where have you been? Don’t even go there.

4) My mother is coming I guess I can order the parts for my new computer.

5) Promise you won't drink Me drink…..never

6) Why aren't you listening? What?

7) Have I gained weight? You hardly weight 100 lbs. soak and wet.

8) You think she's cute? Depends if she’s coming or going.

9) We need to talk What did you do now!

[Nuclear Krusader]

1) I don't get headaches. 2) Move over, I wanna see this game too. 3) How was your day? 4) Don't worry, I'll make up a real good excuse for ya. 5) If you drink too much, call me, I'll pick you up. 6) The right outfit works everytime. 7) Have I gained any more muscle? 8) I never concern myself with that. 9) See #6.

Wow! Wish all women think thus. If my Luisa dear thought like you, Kassia, we'd hardly have problems.

[SARGE]

Originally posted by Nuclear Krusader Wow! Wish all women think thus. If my Luisa dear thought like you, Kassia, we'd hardly have problems.

Wear the pants and you won't have problems.