Glad I didn't say THAT!!

[SARGE]

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein," -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people. -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." - Keppel Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-- Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- Dan Quayle, VP

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services,
Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

[Nuclear Krusader]

LOL. Good ones!

[DrZaius]

Don't know if they're all true, but they sure are funny.

[Streams]

LOL! good stuff Sarge

[lpc300]

Here's a historical one:

Andrew Jackson on the last day of his presidency, at the end of his last public speech, "I only have two regrets upon leaving the office of the Presidency. That I have no hanged John C. Calhoon nor shot Henry Clay."

Shame todays politicians can't be that honest.

[dldz]

Very funny stuff Sarge ! I know it's not really he weekend yet but hey ! after that I'll be laughing till it comes!
Don

[Mr N8]

LOL!

Which is bigger centimeters or cubic centimeters? - John Madden

[Kubie]

I have come to the conclusion that the only reason people take their foot out of their mouth is to change socks.

Thanks Sarge. All of those goof ups are examples of engaging their mouth before before their mind is in gear.

Carl

[Kassia]

ROFL! Those quotes have a cringe factor of 10.

[Joey L.]

LOL!


I love the quotes by the three wise men.
(Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Dan "Potatoe" Quale !)

Joey