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02-15-2003, 11:09 PM
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#1 |
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The Preacher Man
Premium Member
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Dallas
Posts: 4,710
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"Mama" taught me...
What Mom Taught Me
MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!" MOM taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" MOM taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." MOM taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." MOM taught me IRONY: "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about." MOM taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!" MOM taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!!!" MOM taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
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The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen |
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02-15-2003, 11:22 PM
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#2 |
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Barefoot on the Moon!
Staff
Premium Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 13,285
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Heh... How true they are...
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There are two secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day, and you have to have a dream.
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02-15-2003, 11:51 PM
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#3 |
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Mondsreitersmann
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Skingrad
Posts: 8,735
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LOL. Good ones, Sarge.
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Darum still, füg' ich mich, wie Gott es will. Nun, so will ich wacker streiten, und sollt' ich den Tod erleiden, stirbt ein braver Reitersmann. |
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02-16-2003, 12:45 AM
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#4 |
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Professional Cow Tipper
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Enid, OK, U.S.A.
Posts: 2,855
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Good ones!
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Excellent guess, Kreskin! Wrong...but excellent. *quote from Space Quest 6* |
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02-16-2003, 12:48 AM
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#5 |
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Live for the moment
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,938
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Yep. thats my moms logic ok...
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Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Sir Winston Churchill |
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02-16-2003, 03:09 AM
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#6 |
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Member (12 bit)
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,261
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As much as I never thought I would say it I kinda miss those days.
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02-16-2003, 04:02 AM
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#7 |
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Member (10 bit)
Join Date: May 1999
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 830
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Good one Sarge ! And once again I can relate to that
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