Good Jokes

[avx]

Some funny jokes I found at a site I check in on from time to time. I know they are all about french people, but let me say this now, it is not my fault that they choose to chicken out of a war and make themselves a perfect target for sharp whitted comedians. So I hope you enjoy

France announced today that it plans to ban fireworks at Euro Disney.
Reason: It causes soldiers at a nearby French army garrison to surrender."
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"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Donald Rumsfeld. Actually this was a Ross Perot quote during the first gulf war.
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If you want to get France involved in a war with Iraq, you must first convince them that Saddam is hiding fields of truffles. - Comedian on the Tonight Show
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Q: What do you call a group of 100,000 Frenchman with their hands in the air?
A: The French army, of course."

Q: How many French men does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows. No Frenchman has ever tried.

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: By shooting the soldier pushing it.

Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass-bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy.

Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.

Q: Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on E-bay?
A: Never been fired, dropped only once.

Q: The French have just ordered a new national flag.
A: It's a white cross on a white background

Q: Where do you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.

Q: What's the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup squad?
A: A Wonderbra has decent support and a cup.

Q: Why do the French eat snails?
A: It gives them speedier reactions.

Q: How many gears in a French tank?
A: Six: five reverse and one forward, in case they are attacked from behind.
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Jay Leno says it's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of France, either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the war against Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
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In a rare show of bravery, a French soldier answered an order from his
commanding officer and ran out on to the field of battle in the line of fire to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier and dashed back to his HQ. The officer said: I'm recommending you for a medal for risking your life to save the details of the locations of our secret warehouses. Warehouses? said the soldier. Sacre bleu! I thought you said whorehouses.
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Jay Leno, a few summers ago:
"France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing." You know, like they did in WWII."
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In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated off of French soil. President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk: "Ask him about the cemeteries, Dean! So at end of the meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II. DeGaulle never answered.
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Something to ponder: You are the President of the United States. Scientists have discovered a meteor that is headed towards the earth. They have calculated that it will strike France in 2 days, at approximately 2:30 A.M. The meteor is large enough to completely wipe France from the face of the earth forever. France and the United Nations have requested that the United States send all available ships and aircraft to help evacuate the country. Among the ships and planes you could be sending are many that are being used to fight the war on terror overseas. As the President, you must decide: Do you stay up late on the night of the impact to watch the coverage live, or tape it and watch it in the morning?
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Come on now. Give the French a break. After all they did win the French Revolutionary War ... but then again they were fighting the French.

[Alaron]

Q: How many French men does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows. No Frenchman has ever tried.

That one is not true for a fact. The taxi-cab drivers of Paris used their vehicles to bring troops to the front line in WWI, single handedly protecting their capital.

To be honest, I dont appreciate these types of jokes. This is a tech forum, and we shouldnt be bashing other people just because they chose to avoid a war.

[glc]

This thread is closed, this is crossing the line of acceptability.